B2B—Belle to Belle (A Belle having a Special Belle (s) to connect with through her journey in life)
What I have learned throughout my life is that a Belle to Belle system is not only a great thing to have but a necessity for the emotional maturity of any Belle.
Proverbs: “Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls.” (25:28)
Well…until some Peach deserves a little more Mint Julep than is usually required.
A safe answer…me and my SO consider this to be an answer to give when you want to avoid a fight. This is what we mutually agree upon. I on the other hand also consider that a safe answer is THE TRUTH but maybe without significant and specific details given to provide the TRUTH in more context. My SO says, it is not intended to be a lie (although he often travels down this vein with his “safe answers”) and with limited scope of the truth.
The question now is…is these definitions the same? Of course this Belle fully understands this concept and much better than my SO. Mainly because when I use a safe answer, it never evolves into a lie. So the answer is absolutely NOT!
This definition’s clarity is what trips up a layman in their attempt to avoid conflict or damaging someone’s ego when providing “safe answers”.
When a Belle tells her friend-Belle that her butt looks O.K. (not fatty with dents, LOL) when the friend-Belle could actually benefit from a better fitting pant or more flattering style of pant, the 1st Belle gives a “safe answer” as to not hurt her friends ego. Afterwards or better yet in conjunction, the 1st Belle also suggests that she and her friend-Belle have a shopping excursion so that she can recommend a cute style of pants that won’t attribute so much attention to her friend-Belle’s butt. A Belle will make sure that her friend-Belle keeps her ego intact, rediscovers the fun in shopping with her favorite Belle and ensures that both Belles are unmistakably dressed for any occasion.
A man typically will give a safe answer to not get in trouble for cheating on his wife or spending hundreds of dollars from his bank account on a bracelet he bought his mistress. The “safe answer” would go something like this…”I just bought her a token of appreciation” or ” I love her like a sister”, “We are just good friends”, “She’s my assistant”. Although these statements are true to a very small extent, they evolve into lies because those were not the true intentions of the actions. The true intentions would be to have a sexual affair with his Executive Assistant while living comfortably at home with his devoted wife and doting children.
Nowhere in the Belles’ scenario was there an intention to cover up a hurtful and demeaning act by the other. It was only to allow the Belles to arrange a scenario that would be more supportive of their relationship and benefit not only the other Belle but enhance the friendship.
If a Belle intends to use the “safe answer” technique, she should be sure that her intentions are well thought out. A Belle would also need analyze her timing of when she uses this technique because if unpolished it could backfire and destroy the relationships that have taken time, love and care to develop.
So here is some instruction on how to and when to use a safe answer.
Prerequisite skills: Compassion, Kindness, Generosity, Honor, Integrity, Loyalty, Quick-witted, Observant, Flexibility and Tact.
1. A Belle should understand the context and motive of the Topic or Question being asked either by herself of another person.
2. A Belle should understand the possible use of the “complete truth” and the “safe answer” and it’s future use whether immediate or delayed.
3. A Belle should be Quick-witted, Flexible and Observant of the discussion and process/guide the possible or desired outcomes.
4. A Belle should always show Compassion, Kindness and Tact towards the need of this topic to be discussed; thus, she will be able to quickly assess each person’s thresh hold of payoff for access to the “safe answer” or full disclosure.
5. A Belle will be loyal to HERSELF, HER STANDARDS, and HER FRIENDSHIPS.
6. A Belle will remain Honorable and maintain Integrity by remaining in the delicate framework of honesty.
Last but definitely not the final…
7. A Belle will be Generous in her ability to maintain an open and positive dialogue and resolve to the matter.
Start practicing my young Belles. It is an ART!
Memorial day at the pool (Taken with instagram) Every Belle and a Belle in training has to get some sun and a little pool-side fun!
Melanin does a face good. (Taken with instagram) No need for Botox. My Southern Roots have done me well.